Who Believes Me?

TW: Rape, Rape Culture

  1. What did I do to deserve this?
  2. Will his fingerprints forever be imprinted on me?
  3. Will his fingerprints forever be imprinted in me?
  4. Was it the clothes I was wearing?
  5. Was it because I was intoxicated?
  6. Are these the questions the police will ask me?
  7. Are these the questions my family and friends will ask me?
  8. Why did I put myself in that position?
  9. What if I end up carrying his child?
  10. How do I bring that child…his child…our child into this world?
  11. Will they believe me?
  12. Who do I tell first?
  13. Who do I tell?
  14. Who can I tell?
  15. What will the doctor say?
  16. How long will I not be able to wash for?
  17. How long will this man examine me?
  18. How long will I have to stand on this plastic for?
  19. Will they find his DNA on my body?
  20. Will his DNA grow inside of me?
  21. How do I let it grow inside of me?
  22. How do I let it manifest inside me?
  23. How does this happen so often?
  24. When will it end?
  25. Will this go to court?
  26. Will the judge believe me?
  27. Will the judge believe a 13 year old?
  28. Will he think I could have made it all up?
  29. What will the public say about me?
  30. Will they believe me?
  31. How many times will I be forced to remember?
  32. How many times will I be forced to repeat this ordeal?
  33. How many times will they remind me that I will never forget this?
  34. How do I continue after this?
  35. How do I forgive him?
  36. Can I forgive him?
  37. Should I forgive him?
  38. How long will it take to fully forgive me?
  39. Have I  become another victim?
  40. Was I his first victim?
  41. How often will I be forced to see my perpetrator?
  42. How many more times will I be forced to see that smug on his face?
  43. How many more people will question me?
  44. Would they question me if I was their sister?
  45. Would they question me if I was their daughter?
  46. Would they question me if I was their cousin?
  47. Would they question me if I was their friend?
  48. Would they question me if he was their brother?
  49. Would they question me if he was their son?
  50. Would they question me if he was their cousin?
  51. Would they question me if he was their friend?
  52. How many will question me?
  53. Is it their right to question me?
  54. Why has nobody asked me if I am okay?
  55. Will I ever heal?
  56. Can I ever heal from this?
  57. How many more people have to suffer through this?
  58. How many people have chosen to remain silent?
  59. How many people have swallowed their truths?
  60. How many people have been forced to choke on lies?
  61. Will my silence be loud enough?
  62. Will my silence force them to listen?
  63. Will they listen once my throat is raw?
  64. Will they listen once my fingernails are imprinted on my palms?
  65. Will they listen when all I have left is my silence?
  66. Will they ever listen to accept and not to defend?
  67. How much longer do I survive with this truth inside me?
  68. Is this what survival means?
  69. Is this what my life has become?
  70. Will they ever know my name?
  71. Will my name be one that provides them with hope?
  72. Will justice ever know my name?

 

Image sourced from Rhodes University

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