You are Home to me

You asked me why I loved you and why I’m with you

I said it’s because you felt like Home to me

Image taken by Charissa Cassels

Until I realized that Home’s door opened up endless nights of crying myself to sleep

That Home’s gate was opened for me and locked once again as soon as I entered

I realized that Home’s passage was smooth with a few grooves here and there

Home’s bedroom was filled with empty promises

Home’s dining room was consumed with deceit

Home’s living room was no space fit to live in

Home’s kitchen was perfect for it to concoct a new and improved recipe that would leave me wanting more each night, leaving me hungry

Home’s bathroom had no flushing facilities so that stench lingered in the air

Home’s entertainment area was only good enough to entertain friends, Home’s friends

Home’s garage hoarded onto past issues

Home’s garden was non-existent

Because Home never allowed me in it

Home wasn’t always open to me when I needed a place of refuge

Yet Home has never disappeared over the years

Home wasn’t always welcoming

Yet I knew Home was always there

So I thought I should enter Home once again

Maybe this time, my trip through Home would be different

Maybe this time, just this once, I would enjoy my stay

I would enjoy it so much that I’d never want to leave

That I’d want that door to remain open

That I’d want the gate to be locked so as to prevent unwanted guests from entering

That the passage would end up being my runway

That the bedroom would be a place of comfort

That the dining room would be a place where pleasantries were exchanged

That the living room would be a space I could breathe in

That the kitchen would be a place where we’d share our recipes for happiness, faith, security and love

That the bathroom would be there to cleanse us

That the entertainment area will be how we remember our first dance and the dances that followed thereafter

That the garage would be a place of protection

That the garden will be nurtured daily

But every time I visited Home there was always an issue with one or several of these rooms

It was never what I imagined it would be

But I didn’t give up

I was still hopeful that Home could be pleasant

That I’d want to return

So I did

Time in and time out

Yet Home was good at one thing, always disappointing me somehow

But there was something inside Home that always made me return

Always made me have a glimpse of faith in it

I knew what Home could and should be

But I don’t know how much patience I had left in me

I slept on it

I thought about it

I cried over it

I laughed

Cried again…

Then picked myself up and convinced myself that this was the last time

That this would be my last visit Home

If I was still disappointed, I would bid farewell to it

I was determined


So I returned Home with a fresh pair of eyes and a clear mindset

Home’s door was varnished now and it had a particular shine to it

Home’s gate was painted and it’s lock became smaller, easier access to it this time around

Home’s passage felt shorter

Home’s dining room warmed my heart

Home’s living room gave me space to inhale and exhale for as long as I needed to

Home’s bedroom made me feel confident

Home’s kitchen placed a smile on my face

Home’s bathroom now had scented candles in them and added new light to my life

Home’s entertainment area made me realise why I loved dancing

Home’s garage helped me store memories I couldn’t and wouldn’t let go of

Home’s garden allowed all who entered it to grow

And that’s when I realised Home will never be the same upon each visit

That Home also needs time to perfect itself

That Home also needs a Home

That Home needs me to make it Home as well

To see beyond its exterior

To see beyond what other’s see

To see beyond what the eye meets

I saw Home, I truly saw Home today

And I love being Home.

Feature image taken by Charissa Cassels



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